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gomichan
07-17-2007, 09:17 AM
Howdy folks. Just kinda letting you know where I am, and hoping for some kind thoughts.

So when I posted to say I was busy with real life (two weeks ago? a month? I lose track of time...) that was only partially true. I didn't want anyone to worry. I mean, the stuff I said I was doing, I actually was doing, but I was also backing off from forums because I was having a pretty bad depressive wipeout. Which I still am.

I'm not tense about it. It's just brain chemistry. I'm used to this. I try to think of it like having a cold. I don't have to kick myself for taking it easy when I've got a fever and sneezles, so I shouldn't kick myself for taking it easy when I'm in a depressive trough.

Still, it's scary sometimes. Here's how it is: I'm mildly bipolar, I have brief manic periods and long depressions. I hesitate to call the peaks 'manic episodes' -- my judgment's not all that impaired, I don't do things like drive to Las Vegas and marry a cocktail waitress. I just go without sleep, start craft projects I never finish, plan out comics I'll never draw, that kinda thing. Offer to mod the Study Groups forum and then not do any modding. :D It's no big. The only thing I really dislike about those periods is how tall it makes the slope when I start to slide. I'm like a little boat in a storm, and I get to the top of a mountainous wave and look down at the glassy green expanse of the other side as my boat starts to careen down into the black depth, so very far down, and I can't imagine how the next wave won't fold over me and bury me.

But when the next wave comes, my boat just rolls right up again, and I keep going. Just riding it out, wave after wave. I get very tired, but I stay afloat. I've finally learned to trust that I will stay afloat, and shipping a little water isn't the end of me.

Being stressed makes it harder to handle, and it doesn't take much to stress me out. All it takes is a sudden change of plans, a noisy baby in the next booth, an argument on the street below my window, a phone caller who keeps calling and calling when I don't answer the phone. You know how it feels when you've had a horrible hectic day when everything kept going wrong, and then that one little stupid thing happens that's just the last straw, and after that all you can do is hide in your room and hope the world leaves you alone? For me, the last straw happens first. I guess struggling with depression and ADD and social anxiety takes the place of the hectic bad day, uses me up so I can't handle anything on top of it.

So now I come to the bit where I could use some help. Specifically, advice. See, I haven't been able to write or draw freely for quite some time. It's been at least a year since drawing has been anything but a chore. More than that since I could follow through on a writing project. My instinct is to blame the weekly schedule of my webcomic, and the constant public presence it demands of me. Being answerable to readers all the time is hell for someone with social anxiety. And updating every week means I have to work even when it's a bad week -- because my bad times last well more than a week -- which taints the whole thing with a sense of hopelessness.

And yet I'm deeply committed to the story. I really need to tell it. Finding a commercial publisher is pretty much out of the question; while it's not technically impossible, it's not likely enough to count as a solution. I've thought of putting the whole thing on indefinite hold until -- I dunno -- it magically draws itself or something -- but I don't trust myself to keep at it without the pressure I hate so much, and I cringe at the thought of my readers' disappointment and sense of betrayal. I feel like I made a deal with them by offering the comic to them, and I don't want to suddenly yank it away. But the pressure of it is that last little straw, day after day, and I feel I'd be so much more functional and creative if I could get out from under it.

So. Um. That was long. Sorry. Anyway. Advice?

cas07
07-17-2007, 09:49 AM
no advice. just gentle hugs (((gomichan))) and prayers that things improve for you. i can so relate to the whole bi-polar thing - the long depression seems unending...
anyways, just letting you know that while i have no advice, i do care.

sparklecat
07-17-2007, 11:03 AM
I don't know whether it's better for you to have commitments; when I'm able to handle them, they tend to help my depression. But your health is more important than a webcomic. If people feel betrayed or disappointed because you need a break, they'll get over it. If they don't, they are clearly too deranged to listen to anyway, and need to sort out their own priorities before forming opinions on yours.

Gabriel
07-17-2007, 01:29 PM
i understand.

i am a wreck today, and will try to get back to you when i can type.

EgocentricMolecules
07-17-2007, 04:09 PM
Hey, gomichan, I'm afraid I have no advice for you either, but just wanted to join in the voices of encouragement.

Interesting thing is, you asked for advice and actually ended up giving some.

When you posted

I'm not tense about it. It's just brain chemistry. I'm used to this. I try to think of it like having a cold. I don't have to kick myself for taking it easy when I've got a fever and sneezles, so I shouldn't kick myself for taking it easy when I'm in a depressive trough.

it really resonated with me, and struck me as some good advice for me to take. Thanks.

Anyway, I hope things go well for you and the comic and you get this resolved.

gomichan
07-18-2007, 12:03 AM
Cassie: Thanks for the hugs. ((hugsback))

Sparklekitty: You're probably right. In fact, I know that. It's just hard not to care about it anyway. Social anxiety is fun like that. *headdesk*

Gabriel: Here's hoping tomorrow's better.

EM: Wow, I was helpful? That kinda makes my day. ^_^

DarkAngelic
07-18-2007, 07:26 AM
I hope for the best

violets
07-18-2007, 08:59 PM
Do you take meds. I take zoloft and it helps quite a bit.

violets
07-18-2007, 09:00 PM
hoping you feel better soon. My friends ex husband has severe bipolar. He tried killing her on several occiasions

Taylor
07-18-2007, 10:19 PM
Can you pretend it's just a game? That's something I do a lot. You can change the rules so whatever happens means that you win, and it's not cheating because they are the rules. Maybe that doesn't fit this, though.

I'm amazed at all the nice people who are struggling with stuff. It makes me less lonely. But it sucks at the same time.

Taylor
07-19-2007, 02:01 AM
test

monkeywrench
07-19-2007, 10:51 AM
Ever thought about going bi-weekly?

I'd say your health is more important and anyone(s) need to be entertained on a set schedule. If your fans love you for you, they'll understand.
:D

pdudgeon
07-19-2007, 12:19 PM
gomi, i think you've answered your own question...

you are deeply committed to the story and it is important to you to get it out there. So drop the weight of time restraints off, take the weight of perfectionism off, and let whatever is inside of you come out. that is what is important, not how good it is, or how perfect it is.

just let it out.

gomichan
07-20-2007, 08:16 PM
Thanks much, guys. You're all so awesome.

Violets: No, I'm not on meds. I used to be on buproprion (generic Wellbutrin), which I got for trying to quit smoking, and at a half-dose it helped a lot with my anxiety level. But then they said they wouldn't refill my prescription unless I came in to see a doctor, and I froze up. I guess I'll eventually unfreeze and try again. Right now I don't feel like I could handle telling a doctor, "Yeah, I wasn't really trying to quit, I'm still smoking two packs a day and I don't care, I need the nicotine. Now gimme the anti-anxiety meds anyway." :p

Taylor: No, I get really hung up on rules, I make everything into a matter of honor. I'm working on that with my shrink, though. She's pretty cool, but she has some trouble understanding how deep this malignant 'honor' thing goes, and is still just reminding me that I'm not responsible for other people's assumptions. We'll get there, though, I hope.

Monkey & pdudgeon: You're right, and I thank you. We're going to try going to a 'schedule' where we just put up each chapter as it's done, and if we lose readers over that, so be it. It's not like I have google ads on the page and get paid per hit. Truth be told I'm scared shitless, but I'll get over it. :D

Bultitude: You're a gem, man, you really are. That you'd spare the mental energy to help me out when you're in such a rough place yourself means a lot to me. I wish I knew something I could say to comfort you similarly, but I get so tongue-tied when I have sympathy for somebody, all I can do is make puppy eyes. :? Yeah, I know where the edge is; I've been over it, and what's on the other side is boundless churning rage. I don't like it there. I'm staying away from that place, and Seebs and the roomies are helping. I'm really lucky to have them backing me up.

pdudgeon
07-21-2007, 04:23 PM
hi gomi,
honor can be a pretty cool thing, actually. it needs some balance of course, and realistic self expectations are good to have too. but on the whole i think that striving to live so that both you and others trust your word and admire your honor is a good thing.

it's something you don't hear much about these days. it's a quiet , old fashioned characteristic left over from days that were slower, people weren't so many, and a person had time to think and feel and appreciate what was around them.
I'm glad to hear that someone remembers what honor is.
hugs, pam

gomichan
07-21-2007, 06:18 PM
I do value honor very much, and I don't want to let go of that. But there's a difference between that and making myself responsible for everyone's reaction to me all the time. Sometimes I'm going to be misinterpreted, or misspeak, or just have a bad day, be distracted, forget stuff, drop the ball. It's inevitable. When I worry about that stuff and freeze up, I'm not helping anyone, least of all myself.

What's really tricky is determining where one bleeds into the other. If I've said I'll do something, I should do it. But what if I've implied it? Or what if it's one of those social noises that's pretty much
mandatory -- I can't respond to "Gimme a call sometime!" with "I probably won't actually" -- can I? But if I say "Sure, will do!" then I've made a promise I can't keep... yeah, this is the stupid crap that keeps me up nights. :p

Oh, and hugs back atcha. ^_^

sparklecat
07-22-2007, 08:59 AM
Oh, hey, if you're changing your schedule to 'whenever,' don't forget to take down the link for donating to get extra pages.